The common saying "Becoming a father is easy enough, but being a father is rather tough" has hardly any validity for animals. In the Lepidoptera fathers face no challenges after mating – but to find a potential partner and, in particular, to persude a female to mate often requires 'helpers' such as 'drugs' (dry plant material containing pyrrolizidine alkaloids; PAs) and (pheromone-transfer-)particles. Time- and energy-consuming search for and uptake of precursors, independent of gathering nutrients, is required for the synthesis of courtship pheromone components; PAs, however, also provide protection against antagonists and play a major role in mimicry. The use of cuticular particles for transfer of pheromones during courtship leaves us with many open questions but provides insight into the erotics of Lepidoptera which exhibit interesting commonalities and differences between Rhopalocera and Heterocera.